Fail-tastic Four (2015 Fantastic Four Review)

WARNING: Bad Puns ahead!
This is why I don’t trust trailers anymore! Like many, I was excited about the newest superhero reboot that is Fantastic Four or Fant4stic as it’s sometimes stylized. UNLIKE many, I actually enjoyed the 2005 Fantastic Four. (Yes, I watched again as a grown man, and I can’t help it. It’s goofy and stupid, but hell, till fun take on the superhero quadrio. Even the 2005 cast looked like they were having a fun time). But that’s The Thing (hehe, get it?)

This film feels kinda joyless and too much origin focused. Here’s the way I described to the theater usher who waited for my honest opinion of the film: It’s pretty much the movie equivalent of the Challenger take-off back in 1986. It starts off great and you get excited, then you spot some problems and think “Well, okay, I’m sure it’s just a misstep”, then you keep watching and you think “Oh come on. You can do better!”, then it keeps going and then you think “Oh God. No! No No No! No No!” and then finally it ends with a big “DAMMIT!! Damn it all!!” Boom! Crash and Burn a like a Human Torch (hehe)

Basically, my mind while watching the film

My biggest gripe with the film is that it could have been so great. The main problem everybody, and myself included, had was that it focused WAY too much on the origins of the team instead of them, you know?, being a team. The origin story takes up about 75% of the film, and by the time it ends, we’re faced with the antagonistic Dr. Doom and you think “Wait! They’re already gonna fight Doom? I thought there would be more!”

It’s basically a good movie that gets stretched (ha!) too long. Were this movie to be trimmed (or maybe chopped) some more it would be passable. Trank tries to make it his movie but you could almost tell where Fox ( the studio behind this film) got their dirty hands on it. Oh Fox, when will you ever learn?

If I had to say one good thing about the movie, it’s that cast were pretty good, but it could have used some more joy or depth into it. One of the fun Things (okay, I’ll stop) about the the team is Ben Grimm (The Thing) and Johnny Storm’s (Human Torch) witty banter with each other. The 2005 film does a great job showing that chemistry. This one….not so much. Maybe just one instance….at the END OF THE MOVIE!!!!

It is for these reasons that I will continue to side with 2005 Fantastic Four. At least with 2005, I wasnt mad that I spent 100 minutes with those characters

One more thing and probably the biggest crime of the movie: NO STAN LEE CAMEO!!!!!

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